Alien in my Shoe (Plain ol’ Silly Poem)

I woke up this morning sipped my coffee and ate my toast.

Running about to stay on schedule, I snagged up my loafers and slipped in my foot.

Left slid on easy and fine, the right gave my toe a horrible pain.

“What is that?” I wondered, peeping inside. Looking back were two, tiny green eyes.

To the wall, went the shoe and out dropped the small thing.

I’d seen nothing like it before, something like a wood nymph or a fairy.

With my finger, I gave it a poke. Then to my terror it finally awoke.

“What the bloody hell’d you do that for?” it said as he rubbed at his bulbous head.

“You frightened me. I’m sorry.” Then asked, “Just what exactly might you be?”

He smirked and blinked very long lashes, “Why, I am a male from the outer sky.”

“An alien, you mean?” I asked him to clarify.

“Maybe to you, but to me, you are a strange creature too.” His disgust was plain to see.

Putting on my right loafer I asked. “What brings you?”

He stood tall, all his three inches and declared, “I’m here for the toenail clippings!”

“I see. Well, you’ll get none from me.” I turned on my heel and took a step.

Until I heard him say under his miniscule breath, “I will get them one way or another, you can bet…”

I froze with the fear of what he implied, then spun. “Just one more thing, little alien.”

He never saw my foot come down from above as I squashed him flat just like a bug.

It made a terrible mess Sir that I had to clean and I hope you can understand why I was more late for work today than I’ve ever been!




      1. Farts are great. My little one is just about old enough to find them funny now which is great for an immature twat like me. Haha. I wrote a nice bit of non-fiction today to keep myself ahead of the game. I could potentially post about twelve things right now if I wanted. I like being on top of things

        Liked by 1 person

      2. See! I don’t have it in me to be that on it. Good for you!:-)
        I’m a fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal. There’s pros and cons.
        I am VERY familiar with the little boy fart jokes. Mine feels the need to announce it to everyone. Or he says this joke he got from my husband where you fart then say “Does anyone smell popcorn?” and of course everyone smells to see if they can and all they get is fart. Lovely!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Boys have to like farts. It’s the law. I actually firmly believe it’s a primal instinct for men to be in tune with their sense of smell which is why we’re generally disgusting when it comes to smelling things. Your boy sounds like a good sort! Haha.
        I would write the way you do, but I’d just stress myself out in doing so. I’m happy with not writing a big ass synopsis anymore, but I need to ensure my work is done well in advance of it being posted to save me a headache

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s