The crack beneath the door is my world.
The light sneaks in to comfort me, but leaves too soon. Whether it be an hour or ten minutes, I can’t tell, but I feel blessed it comes at all.
On all fours, I peer under my cell door to see my view of the wall on the opposite side of the hall. I count the chipped paint patches of gray wall peeking past the newer white; thirty four, hasn’t changed for weeks.
The growling whispers behind me are scary. They won’t be quiet, over there in the corner.
The corner where I piss and shit down that dark four-inch pipe hole in the floor, voices echo up. Demon voices, from hell. They repeat over and over what’s in store for a woman like me when I go. I want to never never die if what they say is true.
It’s nothing I deserve.
Her rules are always followed.
I am a good girl, but the hell creatures don’t think so.
Those men that bring my food say I’m a crazy vicious bitch. I fight them tooth and nail. It’s a rule.
It’s actually the third rule she made for me. First is the rule of cleansing the world of sin. Second, I must remain chaste and pure. Third, fight those that stand in your way.
Mother Mary in her glorious wisdom chose me. Just little ol’ me, no one special, but she chose me. I am blessed.
The demons tease those that follow Holy Mother Mary. She warned me so.
Oh Holy Mother, there is a scratching on the pipe again. Louder this time. I don’t want to look… she says I must.
From my position in the light at the door, I see… Three large fingers peeking above the edge, they glisten with my waste. The smell is more than I can take, I gag in fear and disgust.
I pray… please Mother Mary show me the way to defeat whichever of hell’s creatures this is.
“Wash sin from this world by any means possible!” echoes through my head.
Wash?.. Wash?… I have already drank my water for the day, and there is no other liquid here to keep the evil from invading my cell.
My next thought frightens me beyond belief but I must follow her directives. Mother is counting on me.
As I am given no clothes, I creep my naked body closer to the hole in the corner. The demon’s hand is still reaching towards it’s escape, only a couple of centimeters past the rim.
I sit fully upon the hole to the underworld and let loose my bladder. Washing the evil down with the piss of the pure.
Even though the light chooses right then to go for the day, I am emboldened at my courage and strength. Hell never stood a chance of winning this battle.
But then… I feel a tickle. You know…down there!
Mother Mary screams in my ears, “Wash them AWAY, wash that demon back to where it came!”
I do what I can, repositioning myself over the hole, I push out more urine. All I can seem to manage is a couple of dribbles.
The tickle is back again, now a bit stronger. It’s not entirely unpleasant but it’s a completely new sensation for me. I haven’t ever touched down there. Mother Mary says it’s the source of a woman’s born sin. I never dared to.
I want to abandon my post and huddle in the far corner but Mary is again forcing my compliance. “Keep still! Don’t let it through to the earthly realm. You must not let it pass!” So I sit firmly upon the hole leading down to hell and vow to not cower from my mission.
I wait in the complete darkness for something, I don’t entirely know what.
Ever so gently one of the fingertips grazes along my sensitive skin. I tense up as a single shiver runs up my spine but stay firmly in place.
I know the devils game now. He wishes to shock me into failure. I’ve already decided, I will not back down.
The hand has gained some ground, now it is close enough to slide around in the wetness of my sinner’s flower. Front to back it repeatedly rubs me, starting a curious tightening in my belly.
My face is flushed and I’m out of breath. Whatever evil powers this demon posesses, I will persevere. I get wetter and the fingers get closer, now able to slip inside.
The consequences of this are frightening to think of but I soon forget and find myself rocking against the hand in a slow rhythm. It feels much too wonderful to stop. Like the sun on my face in the spring, or a warm bath after a day in the snow; it is too heavenly a feeling to be bad for me.
Husky moans escape my mouth as the fingers work their magic, I am swimming in pleasure. Suddenly, my body seizes up and jerks as sparklers go off behind my eyes and I am left floating in ecstasy…
My chest heaves while I catch my breath, my throat burns and I realize I’ve been screaming.
Slumping to the floor, I lie still as my body pulses and buzzes. Finally I recover.
I want more.
“I can give you more…” says the new voice in my head.
He whispers his wonderful plans. I promise to help if he does his magic again.
Mother Mary offered me nothing but suffering. I am in here because of her. My new master says he will help me escape this cell.
I hear the demon rise from the pipe beside me. Smiling sleepily, I lie back and wait for more magic.
Being a sinner isn’t so bad after all.
Pic is from SouthFloridaDaily.com